child-abuse-forum : Symptoms, Causes, Treatment & Prevention

Child abuse is often perceived as a rare and horrific exception that only happens to other people. We hear of it on the news sometimes, can't believe such monsters exist in our society, and want them castrated and executed. However, this view isn't very realistic. Child abuse comes in various forms and degrees, and most of it is done by the child's immediate family. 73% of child abuse fatalities are caused by neglect; mothers are involved in 70% of cases. Child abuse comes in a few forms, but the overall idea is that an adult causes harm to a child, through action or through inaction. 

Physical abuse means any act of physical violence: hitting, kicking, punching, shoving, slapping, etc.

 Sexual abuse means involving or exposing a child to any sexual activities. Emotional (or psychological) abuse means harming a child on the emotional level: yelling, shaming, humiliating, threatening, etc. 

Neglect means failure to provide adequate care.

Whether the parents meant to hurt you or not, abuse causes serious psychological trauma. When someone you love and depend on for life is hurting you and rationalizes it with bizarre statements, like that it's your own fault or that it's done for your own good - that's terribly confusing even for an adult. A child is unable to sort through this mess because s/he has less experience, less cognitive skills, and less legal options. They don't know whom to trust, aren't sure if they are being lied to or really are missing the point, and tend to blame themselves for every aspect of the experience. For provoking abuse, for being undeserving of better treatment, for being too stupid to understand how is it for their own good, for not loving their abuser enough to warm their heart, for disrespecting their elders by thinking badly of them, for being ungrateful by complaining about abuse instead of thanking for having a roof over their head, etc. A child cannot sort through all these mixed messages, doesn't understand what's happening to them, and ends up feeling overwhelmed, confused, scared, and hopeless about future. They have trouble trusting people after the experience, suffer from nightmares, and struggle with school.

The more time passes, the harder it is to bring up the topic, something that happened years ago but still bothers you, especially if you aren't sure what it was and if you'll be in trouble for it. The kids grow older, and the unresolved conflict of the trauma can manifest as defiant behavior, poor social adjustment (like bullying or getting bullied), depression, eating disorders, self-injury, or violence towards peers, younger children, or animals.

If there's still no help for the trauma aftermath, these teens are likely to grow into adults with PTSD, depression, social withdrawal, low self-esteem, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, addictions, etc. However, having been abused as a child doesn't mean that your life is hopelessly ruined and you're doomed to spend the rest of your life suffering the consequences of your parents' actions. The trauma has happened and will always be a part of who you are, but you can address and resolve it, so that it won't hinder your happiness and quality of life anymore.